Ole Grandpa Appears

The gates of the factory, which had remained closed for some time now, gave a sudden shudder and began to open. The creak was outrageous as rust and steel grinded together for the first time in ages. So outrageous that no one noticed the old man who appeared adorned in the strangest outfit anyone had seen in fifty years. When heads turned back from covering their ears and their eyes opened in recovery, they saw a man wearing a red cardigan and golfing pants. With loafers. And smoking a pipe. It was precisely fifty years since anyone had seen such a strange outfit because it seemed to be an outfit right out of the fifties. The strange man stepped forward and boomed in voice that sounded oddly reminiscent of a Clark Gable impersonation, “Hello, gang. I’m Ole Grandpa! Welcome…to the Gin Factory!” His arms went wide and he exhaled a great cloud of smoke. The chimney stacks and steel work seemed to take on a new light to the four contestants. Each one, in their own way, had never really thought much about the actual tour part of the contest, and it suddenly dawned to each that they would at the very least be seeing the place where every bottle of Ole Grandpa liquor came from. The first to speak was Walter, “Holy shit bro, I’m finally gonna see the place where they make the vodka! I’m gonna teabag EVERYTHING in this factory. That way, when someone drinks Ole Grandpa, they drink my balls!” No one particularly responded to this comment, but it did cause Gerry to cough a bit to cover up a laugh. Ole Grandpa was still standing before them in fifties regalia and seemed to be waiting for a comment that had some chance of a better response. He shuffled his feet and finally pronounced, “Well, you must be the four lucky winners! Do you have any questions before we step inside?” The four looked at one another and shrugged, much to Ole Granpa’s disappointment. Finally little Chatpers piped up, “Um, so why do you call it a Gin Factory if it makes every kind of alcohol?” Many heads in the crowd perked up at this, as did Gerry and Walter’s. Jonah rummaged in her purse for another cigarette. Ole Grandpa blinked and look around the crowd, his first chance at an audience in years. He took a drag on his pipe and gave a very thoughtful expression. “Because a gin hangover is the closest a person can come to death without actually dying.” The heads remained perked, though mainly out of confusion. With that, Ole Grandpa turned and waved for the four contestants to follow him in. The still-perked heads went back down due to the outrageous squeal of the gates closing.