Gerry Goes Home

Gerry fell into the trough and was immediately swept away by the river of gin. For a brief moment, he thought he could see Ole Grandpa and Chatpers standing together. Chatpers was smiling and laughing while Ole Grandpa shrugged and took a sip from a drink he had made. He drunkenly stuggled to grab onto something so he could warn Ole Grandpa, but he only slid farther down the chute. Gerry was dumped into some kind of vat and sucked down a hole. Darkness washed over Gerry, Darkness and Gin. Until at last Gerry thought he was going to pass out, at last he even realized that he might actually drown in gin, at last he was spat back out. His head immediately bounced off an empty gin bottle and Gerry distinctly felt as if something had cracked, though he was not sure what. He rolled off a conveyer belt and on the floor before groggily looking around. Large mechanical arms shifted this way and that, packaging the liquor that was made in such absurd ways in such a common manner. Gerry would’ve laughed but his vision was still blurry. A mechanical voice came over the loud speaker and instructed him to the head towards the diner exit for his free meal and drink. Inside the diner that their tour had begun in, 50’s décor and all, he was surprised to find Jonah and Walter both sitting there smoking a cigarette. “Shit bro, you too?” Walter said. Gerry gave a questioning look to Jonah and she merely shook her head in disgust. She handed him a cigarette and without question he took it and lit it up. They all sat together, saying nothing and nursing their pounding heads. Finally Walter broke the silence, “Man, wouldn’t it be awesome to get to work for Ole Grandpa in Drinkadoo?” Jonah and Gerry looked at one another. Jonah just gave a grunt but Gerry pondered this thought for a moment. “Sometimes Walter, I think I’ve been working in Drinkadoo my whole life.” The trio went back to not speaking for a while, nursing their ice waters and wondering what to do next. The silence was next broken by Jonah who asked, “So did anyone ever find out why everyone is in 50’s dress? I mean, what the fuck was the deal with that?” Everyone shrugged, but Walter had the idea to ask the kid who was just beginning to close the Diner. “What, all this shit? Theme weeks, man. How do you think we managed to keep being drunk entertaining? Last week was Ninjas & Pirates, next week is Space Men. Gives us an excuse to, y’know, get drunk.” Gerry gave a little laugh at that and stood up to leave. “I think you mean being drunk gives you an excuse to get dressed up kid.”